Where We Are

I feel profoundly sad at this time. I miss my country. I miss the ideal of asking my neighbor for a cup of sugar and having her respond cheerfully. I still do this, but I believe this sort of thing happens rarely in neighborhoods and communities across this country. I'm trying to figure out how we got here and where we're going. I'm not the kind of person who can 'imagine' that all is well and be happy in that. I'm obsessed with what is true, and the truth is, we are not a very good community to one another anymore.

I loved the America of my childhood; walking the long walk to the neighborhood market with my friends for a 15 cent piece of candy and then walking back home; playing outside with whomever came out to play; being accountable, not only to my own mom, but to every other mom on the street while outdoors during the long summer days, and to my teachers during the school year; not having heavy cares and burdens, but being free from the weight of concepts like dwindling resources, an over-heating planet, and trillions in debt.

This week I read that a public school teacher in another state was fired for not keeping a close enough eye on her students (her 3rd graders were having sex under their desks/tables). My jaw still drops when I think of that. My friends and I didn't know what sex was in third grade. How did we get to this place in less than half a century?

Parents have stopped raising their children; I mean really raising their children; guiding, teaching, nurturing, teaching some more.

Why?

I have vague memories of the women's revolution going on in the late 60's and 70's, but I was pretty far from that. I was a late-blooming girl who paid no attention to news or current events, choosing instead to keep my nose buried in books. By the time I was mature enough to begin feeling good in my own skin, the national discussion was whether or not daycare was as nurturing an environment in which to raise children as that of home with Mom. (Of course, the answer was decidedly "Yes.")

I think some of our current problems begin there. Moms wanted to believe that daycare was just as viable an option so they could have a career, and the national press made sure to give them a thumbs up. Having now raised three children, I couldn't disagree more with that premise. In fact, I think all of us mothers know this instinctively, but society (via the press and universities) has given us the free pass we desired so that we could do our own thing anyway.

Guilt-free selfishness.

And having started there, it grew and made itself manifest in all sort of areas. Whether it be selfishness or any other sin, it increases. It finds a way to justify the next small desire, and then another one after that, and before long they add up to something ugly.

These children are now grown. How have they chosen to raise their own families? Day care is just the example I use; I don't think it would be a stretch to say that these children learned the art of selfishness from their own parents. They didn't learn it themselves in small degrees, but were raised with it; watching Mom (and Dad) see to their own needs first and then to those of others (if at all).

What are we willing to sacrifice to give our children the very best upbringing?

What is sacrifice? Is that a word/concept present in today's discourse? Even among the most conservative I would put forward that its meaning is skewed, and if not its meaning, then its practice. It is not a sacrifice for me to give up my Tuesday Starbucks triple-vente latte for a week or two.

I'm trying to understand the causes and affects of where we are today, while meanwhile learning to be content in all circumstances, as I am exhorted by Paul. Perhaps I have loved this old world more than I should have.